Things before weren’t the best at all, I was a negative self absorbed person who just didn’t see a way out, or a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s like if things were actually ok, I’d somehow find a way to make things not ok because I’ve been so used to overthinking and being an over worrier. Being at my supported housing, and with the help of Young Gloucestershire I was informed of a course called Prince’s Trust, obviously as you can imagine I wasn’t interested as I believe there was nothing that could change my mindset. My goodness was I wrong, I pushed myself to do it and with the help of my family and the outcome is something everyone has been shocked with. Throughout the 12 weeks we learnt so many new skills and some that I didn’t even know I had – resilience, and learning how to cope with struggles in a healthy manner. This course was the wake up call I truly needed, I was looking for something to get me out of the dark hole and this was what I needed.
Everything used to be so dark and it got to the point where I didn’t want to be alive. Now… it’s the complete opposite. I’m so happy and lucky to be alive. Young Gloucestershire helped me with my housing, budgeting my money, my mental health and most things you could possibly think of. One of the best things about the course I took part in, is that although it was so focused on what jobs we wanted and how we would get there, it also gave us a chance to really think about it with no pressure. What really helped is that my team leader would talk about mindfulness and that’s when I realised that I wasn’t alone, these thoughts that I had were just nonsense.
I read this quote the other day and it said that ‘real growth starts to happen when you’re tired of your own s***’. That couldn’t be more true! The patience everyone has at YG is astounding, the amount of times that I’ve supposed to have had a meeting and because of my mental health, I didn’t attend and they just reassured me that it’s ok, it’s more than ok to have down days. Unfortunately this didn’t just happen once, I’d not attend quite often due to not feeling ok, me being me started to worry that they’d say something like ‘right you’ve not turned up for x amount of sessions, we’re going to have to stop supporting you’, that’s not the case because they understand so deeply, it’s ok as long as you communicate with them, which teaches you some standard morals. I’ve learnt so much from YG and Prince’s Trust and even though I’ve said multiple times that I am who I am because of them, which I believe is true, they believe it’s me that made these changes happen. Which is true but I couldn’t have done it without the support and time they’ve put into me. I truly am lucky to still be working alongside them. It would be an absolute honour to work with them at some point in my life. Please if you need help or simply just advice, go to Young Gloucestershire. They will do everything in their power to help you. Look at me!
Things now are great! I’m awaiting my jaw surgery which takes place on the 17th March. I’m incredibly excited as it’s been a long time coming, and it’s definitely going to build my self esteem and confidence immensely, people truly won’t recognise me! After this, I plan on looking at being employed by YG so I will apply for some youth jobs to prove that I’m capable of working with young people. Whilst doing this I will be making documentaries as I’d love to do what Stacey Dooley does and interview people, have it documented and have it change people’s lives, or even just give some insight. That’s the dream – to help change someone’s life. The absolute dream job is to be an actress so whilst hopefully running alongside YG and making documentaries, I’ll audition for TV shows and movies. I know I can get there, it just takes time, patience and full commitment. Which I know I’ve already got. I can finally see my worth and I’m so grateful to everyone that’s been by my side the entire way. Couldn’t have done it without you!
Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do, if you want it then go get it. Anything is possible, just get your first step out the door!
All the best,