Pheobe talks identity

I feel like identity can’t really be pinned down to one thing. Everyone has a different view of you – your own is different to your family’s view and the friends and strangers you interact with. Everyone has a version of you and none of them are the same. Probably the truest one is your own version, the one that you see. But it can change a lot depending on like situation. Like with your friends, you can be quite open, but with new people you can be quite reserved. 

I wrote something ages ago and I’ve heard other people say it as well, which I was really surprised by – it’s that our names don’t feel like our names. Are they really our identity? Other things can feel more like who you are. My condition can sometimes feel like more of my identity than my name.

With disability, some people prefer to say ‘a person with disabilities’, some people prefer ‘disabled person’. Terminology can be really down to the individual, how they feel about things. Labels and diagnoses – that kind of thing I just think of as answers really. There’s a lot of people saying like they don’t like labels and diagnoses and that you are just a person but it’s still a part of you and it can make a lot of sense and really answer things for you rather than just having all this ‘unknowing’. I struggle with chronic conditions and I don’t really know the answers. And so it’s kind of like, am I allowed to identify as certain things? Am I allowed to identify as someone with disabilities?

We’re all people and I think that’s like the main and only thing really.

So I don’t really know what identity is. Is it even relevant?


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